May
11
and the robots are nice.
May 11, 2009 | | Leave a Comment
Outside these glass panels,
i am a force.
People were always in awe…
* * * *
But here, i am just another name
and a bed number.
constantly keeping my hands clean,
i have come to love my hairless skin and the smell of disinfectant.
sometimes i get cold so, i wear a beanie.
its not the same but it serves its purpose.
And the robots are nice,
sometimes i think they smile,
but it’s hard to tell behind the masks they wear.
they seem to know
which veins would feed the hungry tubes so well…
some days if i am lucky,
i catch a glimpse of another human far away, down below…
i think out loud
“why is it not me crossing that road?”
and for a second…
just for a second i feel as though i am going home soon.
Oct
22
…
October 22, 2008 | | Leave a Comment
i enjoy this void that surrounds me.
its emptiness feels safe.
as the life force slowly seeps away
a satin guillotine awaits…
i brace myself for the infinite slumber,
and recalled what it was like to fade.
i’ve seen it all
heard most of it
but it’s still not enough
to fuel me…
Sep
4
unfinished thoughts…
September 4, 2008 | | Leave a Comment
i remember the top of the stairs
where we sat,
where we talked about god
and whether we believed in him or not.
i remember the color of the bottle
you held in your hands
–Green–
and the brown checkered shirt that you wore.
you always had all the answers.
i always got lost in my own questions.
there was always not enough time
but we found a way to breathe in the lightness of dark…
you’d sleep a little later,
i’d "try" to wake up a little earlier.
sometimes we were cranky,
but mostly i learned
what it was like to truly be happy.
Aug
20
::untitled::
August 20, 2008 | | Leave a Comment
a series of kisses flutter by…
-strangers’ hands are always softer.
blurred, the visions in my eyes
as hurried limbs entwine and fretter….
Aug
19
“this is new to me too…”
August 19, 2008 | | Leave a Comment
His face…
familiar,
but foreign altogether.
i didn’t remember this visual space
being so close…
the disarray of words fell seamlessly
and effortlessly into place.
"this makes sense…"
i thought.
yet too formal for coffee so early…
but i am here now.
"this is new to me too…"
i guess the feeling is mutual…
and the colors are Grey.
and the colors are Black.
Exciting it is,
to face new fears without caution.
but not without the comfort of my shades.
i will feel safe first.
Dec
14
nostalgic.
December 14, 2007 | | Leave a Comment
The sound of wheels
ceased upon the rooftop,
where we stayed to watch the sun part purple clouds…
Time frame captured,
may not be so clear
in the distant future…
But i will always remember,
her beige Capri pants…
your red hooded sweater…
And a lover’s lost that singed my heart.
I’ll hold them all dear.
Dec
6
Answers for the heart.
December 6, 2007 | | Leave a Comment
if I’m walking with someone else,
it’s not because i like his company,
it’s because you are not brave enough
to walk beside me.
when you thought i wasn’t brave enough,
i was behind you every step of the way.
so filled with awe,
of the beauty that stands before me.
if you hear me talking about him all the time,
it’s not because he pleases me,
it’s because you are too deaf
to hear my heartbeat.
when you thought i was too deaf,
i didn’t want to assume.
i was afraid to lose our friendship.
if you feel me falling for someone new,
it’s not because i love him,
it’s because you are not there
to catch me falling.
when you thought i wasn’t there to catch you,
it was because i didn’t have the chance to.
you never reached the bottom.
you had already grabbed a branch.
if you feel lost,
i am nowhere too…
i don’t know where the road is going.
will we cross paths?
or turn around…?
and let go of the love we’ve found.
don’t let me walk with him…
it’s you i want to walk with.
don’t let me talk of him…
it’s you i wanna talk to.
don’t let me fall for him…
it’s you i want to fall in love with.
Dec
4
text message
December 4, 2007 | | Leave a Comment
tucked myself in…
surrounded my body with a million pillows,
that smell like vanilla…
like the way you smell,
when i cradle you in my arms
and breathe in…
breathe in the skin on your neck…
Nov
10
schizophrenia…
November 10, 2007 | | Leave a Comment
i’m only bringing me this time,
across the border of my heart.
who’d be better company for me…
but me..
i’m mapping the human genome this time,
searching a sadder me to clone.
who’d be better to make me smile…
but me…
and if i smile,
i won’t tear for me…
and when i’m sad,
i will not be happy…
myself and i,
never parting like a faithful shadow.
thoughts in unison
and without words
i will always know…
on the back of a kraken
we ride with the cloak of night,
myself by my side.
to find the other me’s
in secret places,
hidden from the light…
neither drunk nor ever sober,
i kiss myself without a sound…
and when the morning comes around,
myself is never found…
i’m only bringing me this time,
across the border of my heart.
who’d be better company for me…
but me..
i’m mapping the human genome this time,
searching a sadder me to clone.
who’d be better to make me smile…
but me…
Oct
24
you are the one…
October 24, 2007 | | Leave a Comment
Bags packed and ready to go.
I’m leaving here for home.
And how are you?
You’ve been waiting…
This i’ve always known.
My bags seem lighter then they did
when yesterday was new.
It could be the wings you gave
to fly right home to you…
here….
in the warm sunshine,
here….
feels just like a crime
to be near you…
to sit on the clouds…
right here with you.
Its been a while since i saw your face
but really, nothing’s changed…
and even in a different place
my love is still the same…
here…
come hold my hand.
here…
is where we’ll stand…
its only jus began,
my love
you are the one…
